


Theodicy: Excerpt 1

by ProfessorGoggles



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Crying, Cyberpunk, F/F, Graphic descriptions of violence, Homelessness, Mind Control, dronification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorGoggles/pseuds/ProfessorGoggles
Summary: With the Mistress dead, a chosen drone must take her place and lead the hive, even as the tattered remnants of a dying capitalistic ideology seek to strangle it. She is nowhere near ready.
Kudos: 1





	Theodicy: Excerpt 1

**Author's Note:**

> A proof-of-concept excerpt from the middle to end of what would potentially be a much longer storyline. The full story would be NSFW.
> 
> Likely to be taken down in the near future, as it will include spoilers if that work ever gets made. Copy it if you want to keep it.
> 
> Recommended listening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HboQUmDY0To

You wake to cold pavement and the sounds of cars driving past the alley. You are a long, long way from the Cathedral, and were, as expected, unable to reach Heaven. What dreams you had brought only empty darkness, and your mind has curled in on itself like a grub pulled from soil. You are Sister Grey, Avatar of the Mistress, and you are miserable. Passers-by walk to work, either not noticing your wretchedly saintly presence, or not caring. The September clouds divulge their cargo with a sense of woolen doom.

“God, why is your environmental description generator such a piece of C R A P? It wastes sooooooo much time and RAM getting all poetic about some clouds a billion miles away, but not if there’s like, a McDonalds within walking distance.”

You decline to scan your surroundings again for a McDonalds. Sitting up, you remove your jacket. On the back is text, reading

ExoCorp Private Penitentiary  
INMATE

in large block letters. Without it, nothing but your underclothes shields you from the drizzling rain, but it’s too much of a risk to wear it in daylight. Of course, the “just underclothes” look is its own kind of conspicuous, but at least they won’t know who to call this way.

Inside your mindspace, you roll your eyes at the Mistress’ construct. “Oh so now it’s not good enough? Gee, what a surprise,” you reply, voice heavy with sarcasm. “You know, I get along just fine with this ‘piece of crap’. Suck it up.”

She squints at you. “I don’t understand why you won’t just get actual optics? We’re basically putting stuff in drones for fun at this point, it’s not like we can’t afford it.”

“You -really- don’t know?”

“Wait, is it because I made it for you?”

“So close, try again.”

She doesn’t pick up on the danger in your tone. “Is it a nostalgia thing then?”

“Oh yeah totally. I still remember when you got it to me, back when I was living at your house. You woke me up one morning, said you were 'tired of watching me skulk around the place because I was so clumsy and pathetic' and then you gave me this! And then you crashed from whatever you took to stay up all night programming it, and I spent the rest of the day taking care of you!” You sigh dreamily. 

“Sister Grey, you are making fun of me,” she says crossly.

“Oh, or remember what happened two weeks before that? We were at that huge protest. You were all dressed up in your favourite punk band’s t-shirt. And I was also wearing your favourite punk band’s t-shirt, because you made me. And then somebody got too close to the barrier and that huge security bot they had launched a flashbang right in my face! And I was on the ground, just screaming and screaming because it burned my fucking eyes out. Musta looked pretty clumsy and pathetic then, huh? And I don’t know what you were doing, because I couldn’t really hear anything at that point either, but I like to pretend you were probably freaking out too, because of how much you cared.” You theatrically wipe away an imaginary tear. “Ahhh, those were the days….” 

“…”

“So yeah anyway the reason I keep it is so that you’ll never get to forget about that clumsy, pathetic girl back then, because she’ll always be right beside you!” You point at the descriptor’s processor core at your temple. “And the best part is, now that you’re in here, I can make you put up with it too!”

“Oh so what, you’re saying I needed to do more? Everything I’ve done for you already aren’t enough???”

“Well, that’s what I’m wondering! Because for –ten- -freaking- years, that was as much as I could possibly ask for! But now! Now that YOU have to deal with it, all of a sudden I’m hearing this PRECIOUS GIFT is actually a piece of TRASH, apparently! So please, enlighten me oh illustrious Mistress.” In the real world, you gesture theatrically at the alley that neither of you can technically see. “WAS IT ENOUGH???”

No response.

You barrel on, no point stopping now. “Actually, I’m pretty sure that day was the closest we ever got to talking about it? You spent weeks pretending I’d just always been freaking blind.” You’re getting teary for real this time. The thought of yourself crying in public, with no featurelessly reflective polymer dome to protect you, is unproductive, so you push it away. “You could have at least apologized,” you mutter bitterly.

“Careful there, it almost sounds like you think it was my fault, when you put it like that. I didn’t launch that nade at a bunch of protesters. ExoCorp did.” She puts a hand to her chin, pensively. “Or wait, were they already ExoCorp back then, or would that have been before the restructuring?”

They were Swiss&Brunstone at the time, but it’s a deflection. “I must have said a million times that I didn’t want to go, but you dragged me along anyway!”

“I didn’t MAKE you do anything!”

You laugh bitterly. “Right, because you weren’t strong enough to just make me love you yet.”

“The others don’t seem to have any complaints about that.” Mistress’ reply is smug. “Just you. Why is that?”

“The others understand that if you hadn’t made them love you, they never would have found Heaven. But I…” You ball your fists at your sides. The tears are flowing freely now. “You never had to make me love you. But you did anyway, because even THAT couldn’t be my choice, could it? You fucking moron.”

The Mistress’ expression drops. Her eyes go wide. “Amber…” She reaches out to try and touch your shoulder.

You literally snarl at her. She recoils. “HOW DARE YOU!! You NEVER get to speak that name! Not after what you did to me! I am Sister Grey! My name is Sister Grey! My name is Sister Grey. My name is Sister Grey.”

You breathe, and unclench your fists. “This unit’s designation is Sister Grey,” you whisper, out loud, to yourself, and get up off the concrete.


End file.
